[Shut up world]

QuarkXpress isn't working on my acount.
I am depressed.

You wnat to know what gets my goat?

When people tease me when I'm being serious.

I mean, I understand that in the bigpicture my problems don't matter && that 5 years from now I'll look back and say "haha foolish me"....

That is then, this is now...

NOW my problems are big enough to bother me...

NOW these thinga are important ans weight upon my mind...

NOW these things are stressfull to me...

NOW I feel stupid && not worth any respect when you laugh at me because I said I feel scared && old at the Idea of being almost 18.


I wish I had never cursed the world with my existence....

there is no good news that I wish to discuss in the entry....

[Goodnight]

[Sufficient for each day is it's own suckyness]

....yeah...I said suckyness...

I'm feeling too inadequate to articulate properly, bear with meh.

I lost a really good friend this weekend.

I do not care to discuss it with myself in detail.

I miss her...... Satan has pulled her away. I hope it is only temporary.

:[

In other news....
One the one hand...
I could dress with modesty & soundness of mind, not trendy, but according to my mothers/Bible standards...
OR
I could dress like everyone else, lose my individuality, but be considered more attractive & hence acceptable by my peers...

I just want to be pretty and fit in :\ It's cruel that life would dish a horrendous curse like ugliness on anyone.

I wish that I was not so socially awkward & developmentally challanged.

Oh well

On the bright side, if I keep up my best effort to live for Jehovah, He'll love me despite my flaws.

Time CRAWLS in school........



it feels like 10:45


it's 9:38

Waiting for the service group...

I just realised......

It kidof IS about how much money you have.

I don't have money...I don't behave like other girls...I don't dress like them.


I.Am.Repellent.

More about my weekend.....
Lauren && I...we might as well be sisters,

We all went to Dorney... I rode Talon 3 times && I rode that other one the uhhhhhh Dominator, That one caught my breath...

I got 4 teeth pulled *see last post* had 12 shots of novacain to get it done lol.

I felt hated.

I went to Allentown meeting

My sister finally got a cellphone with unlimited texting*is happy*

I got a really nice I Am Alaska. Shirt.

Rob is dumb

Seth is weird now.

Mike still looks like Shia LeBeuf [seriously.It's weird]

Alex is still difficult

I still suck

Grayce is really awesome.

I'mGoingToBed.IHaveSchoolN'WorkN'ServiceTomorrow.

Sooo.
I went to see [I AM Alask] they were pretty entertaining. They made the speakers spark.


Have I mentioned how much I suck? Well....I really suck....really.....alot....there is a reason I don't have friends and These are it.....

I'm Selfish & difficult && I don't fuction normaly...I don't interact normaly...Or I shouldsay I don't know how too..


Ohh..... -_- I'm so annoying. It's not like I matter anyway that much anyway.






Bleh I hate myself.



&& now I'm super gross instead of just normal gross Cause I'm missing four teeth...


I need a cuddle. -_-